Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Kahwinlah Wanita Beragama!

FIRMAN Allah bermaksud: "Dan kahwinkanlah orang bujang (lelaki dan perempuan) dari kalangan kamu dan orang yang salih daripada hamba kamu, lelaki dan perempuan. Jika mereka miskin, Allah akan memberikan kekayaan kepada mereka daripada limpah kurnia-Nya kerana Allah Maha Luas (rahmat-Nya dan limpah kurnia-Nya), lagi Maha Mengetahui." (Surah al-Nur: 32).

Ibnu Kathir menegaskan, ayat itu mengandungi beberapa hukum yang jelas dan suruhan wajib ditaati. Ayat itu perintah supaya mengahwinkan sesiapa dalam kalangan umat Islam yang mampu dan bersedia.

Sebahagian ulama berpendapat, wajib kahwin bagi setiap yang mampu. Mereka mengambil dalil sabda Nabi bermaksud: "Wahai sekalian pemuda, barang siapa daripada kalangan kamu yang berkemampuan untuk berkahwin, maka hendaklah ia berkahwin. Sesungguhnya ia (perkahwinan) boleh menundukkan pandangan dan menjaga kemaluan. Barang siapa yang tidak mampu, maka hendaklah ia berpuasa kerana ia (puasa itu) menjadi penawar baginya." (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

Imam al-Qurtubi mentafsirkan perintah berkahwin termasuk dalam bab pengawalan kehormatan diri dan kebaikan maslahah ummah. Dengan kata lain, kahwinkan orang yang tiada pasangan dalam kalangan kamu kerana sesungguhnya ia adalah jalan menjaga kehormatan diri.

Kemudian ayat tadi menerangkan hukum mengenai hamba. Dikatakan juga bahawa makna ayat itu ialah hendaklah keinginan untuk mengahwinkan hamba itu mesti hamba yang baik, maka harus mengahwinkannya.

Rasulullah bersabda maksudnya: "Dinikahi seorang wanita kerana empat perkara iaitu harta, keturunan, rupa paras dan agamanya. Utamakan yang punya agama, kamu akan memperoleh keuntungan." (Hadis Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim).

Rasulullah bersabda lagi maksudnya: "Bila anda didatangi oleh orang yang ada agama dan berakhlak baik, maka terimalah jangan dipersiakan nanti kamu ditimpa bencana dan malapetaka." (Hadis riwayat Tirmizi dan Ahmad)

Allah berfirman maksudnya: "Jika mereka miskin, Allah akan memberikan kekayaan kepada mereka dari limpah kurnia-Nya kerana Allah Maha Luas (rahmat-Nya dan limpah kurnia-Nya), lagi Maha Mengetahui."

Imam al-Qurtubi mentafsirkan, ayat itu merujuk kepada orang yang merdeka. Maknanya, janganlah kamu halang daripada mengahwinkan mereka dengan sebab kemiskinan si lelaki atau perempuan. Ayat ini adalah janji Allah dengan kekayaan kepada orang berkahwin yang mencari keredaan Allah dan memelihara diri daripada maksiat.

Rasulullah bersabda maksudnya: "Tiga perkara yang setiap mereka itu adalah hak ke atas Allah menolongnya, iaitu orang yang berjuang pada jalan Allah, orang yang ingin berkahwin yang ingin memelihara kehormatan, dan hamba mukatab yang mahu merdeka." (Hadis riwayat Ibnu Majah).

Nabi Muhammad pernah mengahwinkan seorang perempuan yang datang kepada Baginda menyerahkan dirinya kepada seorang yang tidak berharta melainkan sehelai kain. Tidak lama selepas itu, perempuan tadi menuntut fasakh nikah kerana kemiskinan, kerana ia pernah atau biasa susah.

Adapun yang sering berlaku demikian (fasakh) ialah apabila seorang perempuan yang sebelumnya hidup senang, tiba-tiba hidup susah selepas berkahwin, kerana biasanya rasa lapar membuatkan orang itu tidak boleh bersabar.

An-Naqqaasy berkata, ayat ini menjadi hujah terhadap orang yang berkata: "Sesungguhnya kadi boleh memisahkan antara suami isteri jika suami itu miskin yang menyebabkan dia tidak mampu memberi nafkah kepada isterinya."

Ini adalah pendapat yang daif. Ayat ini bukan hukum pada orang yang tidak mampu memberi nafkah, tetapi ia adalah janji akan diberikan kekayaan bagi orang yang berkahwin orang miskin. Adapun orang yang kahwin orang senang, tetapi menjadi susah selepas daripada itu, maka boleh dipisahkan antara kedua-duanya.

Allah berfirman: "Jika keduanya bercerai, maka Allah akan memberi kecukupan kepada masing-masing dari limpah kurnia-Nya." (Surah An-Nisa: 130)

Oleh Engku Ahmad Zaki Engku Alwi
* Penulis ialah Timbalan Dekan (Akademik dan Hal Ehwal Pelajar) Fakulti Pengajian Kontemporari Islam, Universiti Sultan Zainal Abidin

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Wedding Photographer Checklist

Wedding photographs are considered one of the most precious possessions a woman can have. Think about the lovely stories the grandmother can tell their grandchildren when they pore over the photographs many years later. These magical moments are over in a blink of an eye and can never be recaptured again in its essence. Hence, it is not unusual for celebrity or famous wedding photographers to charge exorbitant prices for their skills. There’s nothing wrong in paying a little extra to get THAT photographer who suits your taste in photography. 

The current trend of wedding photography demands the photographer to be able to capture “The Moment” . It could be the little peck on the bride’s cheek from her father (Let’s say Awww..), the flower girl kissing the page boy (Flower girl mother beware!) or the funny moment where the granduncle does an impromptu Macarena dance(That little blue pill sure is working!)

Nevertheless, there are a few items on the photographer’s checklist you definitely want to go over before your big day. Read on and do consider them when discussing with your photographer.

Family History

It is the utmost importance to let your photographer know your family background before he goes around taking photographs at will. Sensitive issues like family feuds (This aunty hates that aunty), divorces (Stepmother and Mother is a no-no) and recent deaths must be made known to the photographer so that he knows how to act accordingly. This is to eliminate awkward photographs and potential escalating tension between the family members.

Family Photographs

There are many photograph checklists available on the internet with regards to the flow of photographs to be taken with the married couple. A distinct flow of immediate family and extended family photographs must be followed to avoid confusion and make sure that even the family’s goldfish has taken their photo with the couple. Look up the checklist from the internet to get an idea of the flow of photographs so that no relative can complain that they didn’t have a chance to take a photo with you!

Your Wish Is My Desire

Wedding Photographer is not a genie
wedding photographer ain’t a genie, and you aren’t Aladdin!!

Don’t all brides have their whims and fancies when it comes to photographs? It could be that stunning golf course backdrop view, or that beautiful sunset, or even a wedding dress and the wedding slippers. Photographs tell a tale of our wedding day and it would be best to compile a comprehensive list for the photographer so that he doesn’t miss out on any special moments which you will want to be photographed and kept for memory. The internet again has an abundant list of ideas (crowd applause, exchanging vows, exchanging vows closeup, bride looking at mirror, bride looking at wedding dress, bride looking at her ring – you know the drill) you could use. For the picky ones, state your desires and they shall be granted. For the not-so-picky ones, you can trust your expensive photographer to do their job.

Time Is Everything

Photography actually takes time! Everyone needs to stand in position, adjust their clothes, suck in their stomachs, smile/grin/put V sign, say Cheese and take at least 2 shots. The good news is – The above sequence takes only 2 minutes. The bad news is – You’re running out of time.

Make sure that when you prepare your wedding ceremony or wedding banquet timetable, there is adequate time to cater for photography for you and your guests and family members. Failure to do so will ensure that you will offend many people and your shots will not turn out nice. You have been forewarned!

A Wonderful Wedding Without Being Knee Deep In Debt

We all heard the naysayers in the last few months predicting an economic recession for this year. You’re scared and you know it’s true. With everything going up except your salary, you’re both wondering if there’s anyway to keep costs down at your wedding. The best solution is to postpone it but you probably can’t wait to start your new life together. So that leaves us with the next best option – Cost Cutting measures. What I’m going to share below is probably not going to win a Nobel prize for Economics, but I’m quite sure it’ll save you enough money to go on a decent honeymoon.

Trim the fat

As you go about preparing your wedding, keep an eye on stuff which are going to blow your budget. Itemise the items which you have to purchase and mark out priorities for these items. I’m sure you can do without the 2 turtle doves or an elaborate fireworks display. When it comes to trimming the excess off your budget, you can never go wrong repeating the three mantras – Beg, Borrow & Steal.
If there’s anything you can have without purchasing it, just do it. Network with your relatives and friends to see if there’s any help you can garner from them with regards to them contributing to your wedding plans. This could be in terms of financial or physical aid. If you’ve been a nice person all these while, I’m sure aid will come pouring in once you’ve opened your mouth.
Look out for mundane objects such as ring pillow, wedding accessories, decorations or even that bridal car which you could do without buying or renting. Make your requests known early so that once word gets around, your relatives and friends can keep a lookout for you. This is especially important as there might be some sales or offers which could help you out.
If you need help, never be shy to ask your friends to help you out on your big day. You’ll definitely be able to find someone who’s an amateur or semi-professional photographer, videographer, singer/musician, emcee, photoshop/web designer and etc.

Friends in high places

malaysia Wedding with Obama
The person you want to know right now but he was not a wedding planner.. hahaha

It’s time to open up your phone book and see which friends you’ve got in high places. By that I mean people who are in the marketing industry or have a large network. It also helps if you’ve got friends who are into trading or premiums as they seem to be able to source great ideas and gifts at cheap prices. These friends probably have connections to people who might help you out in your wedding plans such as florists, wedding planner, event crew, freelance photographers, musicians/singer, classic car collector and etc.
You’ll soon begin to realize the power of networking will help reduce your wedding bill by a big margin. Every penny saved is a penny kept for a rainy day / romantic honeymoon. Heck, you might even be lucky enough to get freebies like I did for my wedding. I asked around and it happened that there was a photo studio who needed to do a cover shot of my wedding venue. Needless to say, some wheeling-dealing and a big personal recommendation from my friend got me beautiful floral arrangements, candle stands and d├ęcor for my wedding venue completely free! Of course I bought my friend a good dinner for his help!

Age of internet

Needless to say in the age of blogs and forums, every bride-to-be has scoured the internet for the best tips and resources. They find refuge in fellow netizens who are walking the same journey towards their big day.
Other than collating information on the best deals in town, it doesn’t hurt to find out if there’s any common ground which both of you could share on. An example could be that you found out that another couple is using the same premises the day before yours. It wouldn’t hurt to ask if you could split costs with them with regards to the wedding decorations, table centerpieces and floral arrangements. Fresh flowers usually last more than 2 days and frankly, no one pays that much attention to the freshness of the flowers these days. You could also ask about other services such as emcee or musicians where costs can be shared. Service providers normally provide a discount if they get multiple bookings.

Think smart, not hard

Trade secrets can be useful when planning your wedding. Did you know that flowers generally cost more during the period near festivals and important occasions like Mother’s Day? It is also important to note that your selection of flowers should also tie in with those which are in season. Costs for hiring musicians and emcee also rise due to the increase in demand on these dates. Plan your important day away from these occasions if possible. By the way, plastic flowers cost much lesser than fresh ones and they look just about the same with the proper skills in floral arrangement
It’s becoming common knowledge that wedding lunches are much cheaper than dinners. Moreover, the restaurant can cater to the same menu as the dinner banquet at a lower cost since it’s all about economies of scale for them. This means you don’t have to compromise on the quality of your wedding banquet.
Wedding dresses and night dresses all have a fashion lifespan. If you plan to buy a dress, be sure to ask when is the new batch of dresses coming in. Chances are the old batch of dresses will be sold at a considerable discount once the arrival for the new season’s fashion is in. Make friends with the outlet supervisor and she might even throw in a staff discount (up to 30%) for you if you’re nice to her. I’ve done it before and you can do it too! Don’t be shy to ask for a favour from a stranger, they’re probably too nice to refuse you if you can convince them their help means a lot to you.

A person learns best from history

A practical way to save some money is to ask your married friends! Practically everyone has a no. 1 regret on their wedding budget. Just round them up and ask them this question – If they could cut a cost from their wedding, what would it have been and what was their solution to it?
You would be surprised at all the nuggets of information you could get from them to help you with your budget. I’ve heard about stories of invitation of too many guests, improper allocation and control of liquor being served and unnecessary flowers / decorations which no one took much notice in the end.

Already planning for your honeymoon?

Paris or Malaysia
How about the Twin Towers instead of this one?
A little budgeting goes a long way to keep you out of debt. We came to realize that the money saved could have extended our honeymoon by a few days or gotten us to a more exotic destination. Remember, your big day goes by in a flash and you probably will not recall much of it until you watch the video. If you invested your savings into that new king size bed or fabulous silk satin sheets, you would have looked back and thanked me for it.

Failing to Plan is Planning to Fail


There's when Boy meets Girl, they fall in love, Boy proposes, Girl gets excited and the wedding planning begins! For the newly Bride-to-be and Groom-to-be, planning a prefect dream wedding yet memorable doesn't come together in a day. It takes a load full of planning and preparation and while this process can be fun and exciting, it will also be very stressful and overwhelming. Not forgetting the budget! Do check out for the best deals and promotions offered here "Failing to plan is planning to fail". Start planning your wedding now with our SERVICES.
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